I would marry the hell out of the guy who dressed like this….
where’s my ring then?!? xP
(Source: thirteenthfaeriestyle)
Gabriel Joseph Marie Augustin Ferrier, Evening
(Source: windypoplarsroom)
A song of Ice and Fire fan art: Jon Snow and Daenerys Targaryen.
Art by Teilku
HELP ME UNDERSTAND
I don’t quite understand my thought process. I had (have?) this friend who I loved and all, but shit happened (not between us) and we haven’t spoken in months. She is fun and we think similarly and I enjoyed her company. BUT (and this is a HUGE but), I ALWAYS felt inferior to her. My self-esteem around her was pretty much poop. I’m not gonna lie, I felt threatened by her. She’s utterly gorgeous and pretty much perfect in every way. However, she came off as kind of narcissistic. As in, complaining bout her flawless body or some other bullshit, yet never missed an opportunity to point out how huge her tits are or how better she was at something or other (not really ever in comparison to me though). It seemed like she thrived on the attention of others. Especially attention to her physical attributes or how hot she is lol and ESPECIALLY from men. And she had no issues whatsoever admitting that she is very shallow. Which is kind of a bummer, because even though she’d be a good friend and tell me that my ass looked good or that I was pretty (lol) I still felt really uneasy around her. Like she was silently judging me. Although she’s not the type to hold back her opinions lol.
As someone who’s struggled with self-esteem and self-image my whole life, this was REALLY hard to get past. I was always a chunky kid and have just recently (within the last 3 or so years) come into a healthy weight range. So I still have that fat girl mentality. And for some crazy stupid reason, my mom never let me be feminine really (probably so that I wouldn’t attract the attention of males lol) so I’ve never really felt “pretty.” Sure, my fiancé has helped boost my feelings about myself, but I still struggle with them.
So back to this friend; I miss her terribly, but I don’t want to lose that feeling of being okay with myself that I’ve acquired within the last few months. I don’t want to go back to feeling unattractive and inferior. It makes me horribly depressed. That depression affects every part of my life and I don’t want to go back to that. So yeah, I’m jealous. And I love her. But I feel like a shitty friend for feeling like this. I want her back in my life. But I don’t at the same time. ><
I DON’T KNOW!! I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS!! UGH.
(And this is all aside from the fact that the shit that went down made me uneasy to associate with her in anymore, but that’s not relevant.)
SO, are there any of you that have felt this way or been in a similar situation? How have you handled it? I really don’t know what to do =[ I want someone that gets me on her the level she did, but I don’t know if the friendship will be beneficial if I’m gonna be feeling like shit all the time. And I don’t even know if I will or if I’m legitimately getting better.
